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Channel: Uncategorized – The Cretonia Times-Picayune
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Dickerson Signs Non-Aggression Pact With Scorpions

THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – At a press conference held Friday at Billy Bob McSneed’s Barbecue and Assault Weapon Repair in Ducktown, TN., Marvin V. Carolinianus, patriarch of the...

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Donald Trump Wins ‘Giant Bipedal Hemorrhoid’ Award For Third Year In A Row

SANTA ROSA BEACH, CRETONIA (CT&P) – Donald Trump has won the coveted ‘Giant Bipedal Hemorrhoid’ Award for the third year running, according to a spokesman for the billionaire Pirhana Brothers, the...

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In Missouri killing Black teens is cool, but abortion isn’t. Maybe have kid,...

Originally posted on Walter Mondale Jnr: Missouri  Enacts 3-Day Waiting Period For Abortion – Although to help desperate pregnant women they do have a practical solution: skip the abortion. Raise the...

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Hunting Accidents Rise As IQs Decline

THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – As hunting season begins all across America, hundreds of thousands of sexually insecure men with firearms are flooding ever-dwindling wildlife management...

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I am so sorry about this, but I forgot how much fun it is to mess with Dick...

Originally posted on Pouring My Art Out: So I may have to do it some more… like all day… View original

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Live Long And Prosper

Originally posted on ...things I LOVE!: Leonard Nimoy – 1931-2015 A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP — Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy)...

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Woman Makes Unholy Yogurt With Her Own Bacteria

Originally posted on Rachel Being Chatty: K, are you sitting down? And preferably not eating anything at the moment? View original 255 more words

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Leonid Rogozov removing his own appendix at a Soviet research station in...

jerrydickerson8:Absolutely fascinating…… Originally posted on I hope to be remembered for my atrocities!: From September 1960 until October 1962, Rogozov worked in Antarctica, including his role as the...

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Scientists Confirm Limbaugh Slowly Morphing Into Giant Cane Toad

MIAMI, FLORIDA – (CT&P) – Researchers at the Banzai Institute have confirmed that conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is slowly changing into a gigantic cane toad, or Rhinella marina. “There’s...

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Badgers?

Originally posted on Pouring My Art Out: We don’t got to show you no stinkin’ badgers… View original

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Belgium Unable To Find Its Ass With Both Hands

  BRUSSELS – (CT&P) – Belgian security forces have been unable to locate Belgium’s ass despite days of searches and dozens of raids on likely targets throughout the country, according to Prime...

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Despicable Asshole Gains Support In Iowa

DES MOINES – (CT&P) – Presidential candidate and despicable asshole Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is vaulting into the Iowa caucus’ first tier of Republican candidates, a survey released Tuesday...

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Carson To Visit Refugees In Jordan

AMMAN – (CT&P) – Presidential candidate and simpleton Dr. Ben Carson is visiting Jordan today in an attempt boost his foreign policy chops and prove to people he knows where it is, according to a...

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Will Muschamp Leaves Auburn To Seek GOP Nomination

AUBURN – (CT&P) – Defensive coordinator Will Muschamp has announced that he will be resigning his post at Auburn in order to seek the GOP nomination for president. Muschamp proved he was just as...

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God Withdraws Support For Carson Campaign

ROME – (CT&P) – At a press conference just outside the Vatican this morning God announced that he would be withdrawing his support for the Carson Campaign effective immediately. God told reporters...

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Playoff Picture Muddled As Team Muslim Struggles To Qualify

SAN BERNARDINO – (CT&P) – The Mass Shooting Playoff picture remains confused as perennial favorite Team Muslim continues to struggle. Although Team Muslim tried to mount a late season comeback...

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Ben Carson Exchanges Soul For Seat In Trump Cabinet

  MIAMI – (CT&P) – Former neurosurgeon, presidential candidate, and person with a good reputation Dr. Ben Carson unwittingly traded his soul for a seat in Donald’s Trump’s cabinet yesterday when...

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Spewing hate in all directions…

Pouring My Art Out Just something to think about… View original post

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Of religion and successful marketing: The doctrine of finding solutions to...

Just Merveilleux If you follow American politics, by now you’re privy to the case of the many bathroom bills introduced by religious conservatives in various states. The recent, rather unsurprising...

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The Hilarious Story of the Palmarian Church

Just Merveilleux Origins: “In March 1968, four Spanish schoolgirls (only known as Ana, Josefa, Rafaela and Ana María) stated they saw an apparition of the Virgin Mary by a little tree on a piece of...

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